I often find myself craving the rain.
The light and frequent taps on the window
To the lush contrast between the leaves and the grey sky.
The gloom of the rain brings fourth my contentment.
The sun can't shine everyday and neither can I.

Redeemer

Ever so slightly you slowly took over the prisoners of my weary heart.

You unlocked their shackles and the freedom was overwhelming at first,

but as seconds passed with each tick of the clock, a realization of warmth never

felt before filled my system like a never ending cup.

Days and months pass and my cup fills closer to the top.

I might spill the cup from time to time, but
nevertheless you fill me back up and our bond is reinforced,
stronger than ever. You're the only person who takes back
a friend who denies their love for you daily.

I've never seen you, but you know my heart unlike
any other. I trust you in the ruts and bumps of life.
You only construct people in this life, destruction
isn't in your vocabulary.

I'm undeserving of the life you poured into mine
and there's no way I can pay the debt of my empty cup.
So here I sit ever so gracious, you continue to invest more
into me regardless.

A Bystander's Perspective

she spends the majority of her time in the dusty ignored shadows of the storm,
while you get to live in the warm exuberant sunshine.

It's really an unfair thing you see, while you get flooded with smiles and emotions that
wrap around you like cashmere, she gets tears and itches from wool she can't scratch.

She imitates you like a child, but she can't figure out how you can't discover how
you break her day after day. She can't keep you puzzled together while trying to fix
herself instantaneously.

She would break you off from her heart, but the cracks that you would
leave would be detrimental and ultimately lead to her demise.

So here she sits, surrounded by your dust bunnies wearing an
ugly wool sweater wishing you'd change.

Closure

I over react
Emotions rob my smile
Regretful thoughts unravel in every
crevice of my brain.

I regret letting temporary emotions
leave permanent consequences.
I regret thinking I'm more capable
of picking up my trash than God is.
I regret not taking your offering hand.

Every 24 hours luckily brings forth
a new beginning with a clean slate.
Yesterday is gone with its troubles
regrets, and hurt. The sun rises again
and brings its promises of renewal.
Carrying a brightness that fills the
void of the inevitable dark times.

>

Sometimes I feel as if my emotions swallow me whole.
Forever being optimistic in every situation leaves,
me forever being dragged down the stairs by
disappointment after disappointment.
Optimism < Disappointment

Yet, I smear on a smile because well,
that's what everyone else needs.
As a child I was always told
to put others before myself in
any and every situation.
Others > Me

The tears flow ever freely down
my cheeks leaving a salty puddle
on my shirt. There is no freedom in
my tears. They ironically leave me dry.
There has to be a way out of
this void, I pray for God to take
it all away, but nothing.
Tears > Freedom

I need something from someone,
but asking for things isn't my style.
Asking for things is needy and weak
and honestly I never want to be
either of those. I'd rather
stay here in the stomach of
what swallowed me.
Pride > Help